Whistle (2025)

Is it possible for the guy who directed one of the dullest horror films ever to direct a good horror film? Well The Nun was awful on many levels so the chances of Whistle being worse was quite remote. The set up of the film is that Dafne Keen tries to pull off being a high school student and after arriving at her new high school goes to her locker which they haven’t bothered to clear out beforehand and she finds the titular whilst and after Nick Frost dies moments after trying to flog it on the antiques version of eBay the new friends that Chrys has befriended blow the whilst and death is now following them. 

The idea that when we are born our death is also born is kind of a neat idea although the film can’t help itself by being stupid and goes on to say that if we live to be 90, death will spend 90 years finding you and if you blow the whistle it finds you quicker.

Dafne Keen is perfectly fine as Chrys. She has a backstory where she is moving in with her aunt after she took drugs and killed her father. We never see the aunt or any adults really with the exception of Dean’s parents for about 30 seconds. Keen does well as the lead although I do think she just about gets away with being a High School student. The romance between Chrys and Ellie was one of the more interesting aspects of the two characters.

Nick Frost pops at the beginning and it would have been nice to have him do something more than deliver some exposition and then become greedy. Michelle Fairley’s role as Ivy is literally nothing more than exposition. She only has two scenes but they do nothing other than tell Chrys and Ellie what’s going on. She conveniently tells them how to cheat death and that is basically sacrificing someone else in their place. Even after telling them this they have to have it spelt out to them.

You would think that death would be the villain but they decided to introduce Noah (played by Percy Haynes White from Wednesday) who basically gives drugs to the kids from one of them overdosed so that makes him the bad guy and is the obvious choice for the sacrificing part but our scooby gang are so good that they don't want to go through with it even though he is loathsome.. The film gets around this by pretty much forcing  the situation so we get a satisfactory ending but the film ends with the most predictable sequel-bait ending where the pot containing the whistle has found its way back inside the locker. I’m not sure why the whistle doesn't try and find a new location but I suppose that doesn't really matter cause I am highly doubtful that we are going to get a sequel.

The deaths are quite good, especially Dean’s but that might be because he was very annoying and playing the typical irritating sports guy. Rel’s death was quite gory and I was surprised that it was a 15 because 10 years ago this would have received an 18 certificate but I think they probably got away with it because there is a surprisingly gory film and it seemed like the blood was real and no CGI blood which a lot of horror films seem to rely on.

I had very low expectations of Whistle and I have to say they were met. It’s nowhere near as bad as Return to Silent Hill because at least the film made sense but this will only really please people who want to stick on a dumb horror film on a Friday night when they don't have to pay any attention. It is neither terrible nor any good so average is probably the best word to use.

Iron Lung (2026)

 For the second time in as many months, I am sat in a cinema watching a film made by a YouTuber. The film is directed by Mark Fischbach (aka Markiplier) and is based on a video game which I have never played so in regards to authenticity I cannot comment. The plot of the film is that Fischbach plays Simon who starts the film in this iron submarine type thing and has to find something. The entire film takes place in this submarine and the closest that we get to coming outside is when we see through a window at some other humans and a couple of flashbacks. The film has very little space in which to keep things moving but to the film's credit it manages it. 

The last 40 minutes dragged for me and as a result I stopped paying attention so I didn’t keep track of what was happening or why. I don't know if the plot was based on the video game or they have just borrowed some elements but I felt like the plot was starting to get a bit convoluted after a while. It also felt like the longer the film went on the more the camera was shaking so much that you couldn’t see what was going on. The last shot was of the life jacket with the black box in it but we don't know if Simon’s sacrifice was in vain or achieved something substantial. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that if they had found a better actor then the performance might have kept me engaged with the story. Fischbach might be a popular YouTube but I don't think he is going to be a contender at the BAFTA’s or Oscars anytime soon. Normally the lack of star power might be a red flag but on this occasion i dont think that it was a problem.

The thing I liked about the film is the production values. As the film takes place entirely in the submarine it is important that it looks good and despite the low light I thought that it was a really good job. I also like the ‘photos’ that were produced when Simon pressed the button. They looked very creepy and showed us what threat there was outside in this world that we know very little about (unless its explained in the game)

The film cost a reported $3 million and has made around $20 million which for a film with very little traditional promotional stuff is quite an achievement and in the screening I was in which was 10pm on a Friday night it was pretty much full so it shows that you dont have to spend millions to get people to go and see your film. Will Hollywood learn a lesson from this? Of course not. It’s a great film by any means but on a technical level and on what it has achieved I think that it should be seen but maybe wait for it to come out on streaming. Just dont see it if you suffer from claustrophobia.

Primate (2025)

 Primate has a very simple premise. A bunch of young annoying people go back to Lucy’s home where they have a chimp that’s called Ben and gets Rabies and then goes apesh*t and tries to kill everyone. Sometimes films work best when they are stripped back to just being your typical b-movie schlock. This is directed by Johannes Roberts who previously did the most recent Resident evil film which I quite enjoyed. 

The film is rated an 18 which is quite a difficult thing to achieve but it definitely deserved it. On one occasion Ben rips a guy's jaw off and on another occasion rips a bit of someone’s scalp off. The girls ring some guys they meet on the plane and they are literally just in the movie so that Ben can kill them. Ok they were rather annoying but when they appeared I knew that they weren’t going to feature in the final act of the movie. 

If I had an issue with the film it's that the film is in constant darkness. I know that it's in the middle of the night but they could have jus stuck a couple of more lights on. As a result because all the girls kind of looked the same I could tell who was the main girl and her sister. The film only had one person that I recognised and it was the guy from CODA Troy Kotsur. He is in it briefly but he is rather good and it's quite nice and refreshing to have a deaf character in one of the central roles and others knowing sign language.

I like the fact that Ben was played by an actual person. It was obvious that they weren’t going to get a real chimp so as I was watching it I wondered if they were going to do a mixture of actor and CGI/AI. Thankfully they seem to have gone for the former and Miguel Hernando Torres Umba plays the role brilliantly and comes across as one of the scariest monsters that I have seen in a horror film for quite sometime.

Overall I enjoyed this film a lot more than I was expecting. There are some pacing issues especially when we have to spend a long time with the girls before Ben goes bad and when they move into the pool after the rampage starts there are moments where it feels like the pace is stuttering a bit. However the film is 89 minutes long and it doesn't outstay its welcome. The plot is simple and doesn't complicate itself although the dad disappearing just so he could come back and save the day did feel a little cliched. However despite these minor issues it is a film that I recommend but be mindful if you dont like gore then this might not be the film for you.

R.I.P Ben

Send Help (2026)

 Send Help is the latest film from Sam Raimi. It sees Rachel McAdams (Linda) and Bradley (Dylan O’Brien) survive a plane crash and have to survive but when Linda sees a boat passing by she tries her best to stay on the island to extreme measures. The plot is simple, the characters are not very likeable in different ways and there is a high level of slapstick gore. Rachel McAdams does really well as Linda. She starts off as a frumpy unlikable office worker but when the story moves to the island she seems to become a different person. Someone who is in her dream location and has an upper hand on her loathsome boss. Dylan O’Brien plays Bradley really well. He is unlikeable because he is the typical horrible boss that will say whatever it takes.

There are many moments which feel very much like you are watching a Sam Raimi film. One moment comes when the plane starts to crash and one of the passengers flies out the plane and his tie catches off the side and bashes his head on the side of the window which leads Linda to comically close the window blind. Another moment comes when Linda is attempting to give Bradley mouth to mouth resuscitation and between every breath attempt she is throwing up all over him. There are plenty more funny moments and this is why Raimi is such a good director because he makes it work and doesn't make the film feel farcical. 

I knew the exact moment when I loved this film and it comes quite late into the film when we discover what is on the other side of the big X that Bradley was told not to go past and it is in fact a fancy beach house with all the mod cons that you would want. In any other film this would have totally lost me and I would have rolled my eyes at but I found it quite funny in the context of this film. I thought that it fitted the humour quite well. The film ended in a way that I liked. Even though neither character is particularly likeable, I was happy that Linda literally drove off into the sunset. I can see some people not liking this but I thought that she sort of deserved this ending.

There is a plot hole that stood out to me during the film but it isn’t big enough to ruin my enjoyment but I would be failing in my review if I didn’t point them out. The plot hole is concerning Zuri and the guy who has the boat. Did neither of them let anyone know where they were going and did no one ask Linda if she knew anything about them. The only real issue with the film is that the opening 10-15 minutes is a bit unnecessary. The film spends too long hammering the point home that Linda isn’t that likeable and lives alone with her bird and has aspirations of being on a Survivor-style reality show.

There is enough Sam Raimi stuff in it that you will be entertained. I don't think it is quite up there with the first two Evil Dead films but it was definitely an enjoyable film. I think had the film started a bit better then this would have become my film of the year but I think that and some other pacing issues means that this is a fun if slightly flawed Sam Raimi film.